6/22/2023 0 Comments Suspicious behavior![]() You two DO have a commitment together which comes with boundaries, however. Listen to Helene's thoughts on respecting boundaries on Episode 1139 of the podcast Optimal Living Daily. I’m not saying you feel this way, but I want to remind you that you do not own this man, nor would you if you were married. There’s a difference between doing something wrong and doing something wrong for the relationship the two of you have. You said you don’t think it’s right for him to be doing this - whether “this” be engaging in inappropriate behavior with someone online, keeping a secret from you, not communicating, or some blend of the three. Be Clear on Boundariesīut let’s get to the point. If there’s a difference there, you could be on to something. One way to get some reliable analysis on this would be to try communicating with him about something he’s predictably very communicative about something where you know what his reaction or level of engagement will be. So “just make sure” your suspicion or uneasiness in this potentially devastating situation isn’t clouding your thinking enough that you’re seeking out ways for him to be guilty and that you’re more looking to pounce on a mistake rather than assess things with a level head. That’s why it’s especially important to pay attention to this subtext of his behavior for hints, and if you’re going to do that correctly, you’re going to need to do it with a clear mind. ![]() And should he be guilty, it’s in this behavior between the cracks that you’ll need to look for changes if he’s not going to come forward with it now or ever. This could very well be true, especially if he’s guilty of something that he’s not coming forward with. The second reminder, or the second “just make sure” I want to issue is about your feeling that his communication has started to dwindle since the initial confrontation. It’s denial for the sake of our own sanity and while it makes sense, it’s destructive if we don’t get objective about things when we need to. It's something that helps us to believe what we want or need to believe for our own health. I remind you of this because a lot of the time, when we feel so in love and are so committed to sticking things out, we’ll stick too much to our partner's good qualities in times of turmoil. Listen to Ira's thoughts on dating today on Episode 537 of the podcast Optimal Relationships Daily. If he’s not gone out of the relationship thus far, that works to his advantage right now.īut just remember a) that you don’t know that for sure, like you said, and b) that doesn’t mean the trend can’t start at some point. So two things: First, you say he hasn’t gone outside of the relationship and you also said “to your knowledge.” It’s so great that you’re looking at his track record and looking for patterns before jumping to strong conclusions. Where to begin? I guess I’ll start by just issuing a few reminders to you, or a few “just make sures” before I get into the meat of everything. I do wish I know how that conversation you had with him left off, but alas. It seems you’ve taken a very mindful and communicative approach to suspicious behavior, not acted in an overly aggressive way and are more willing to find the facts and give a second chance rather than letting your ego take over and drive your brain off a cliff. First of all, just want to give you major props for how you’re handling all this. Mindfulness and Keeping Your CoolĪnd there we have it. Listen to Greg address this topic on Episode 62 of the podcast Optimal Living Advice. ![]() Is this relationship coming to an end, or do I keep trying to make it work?” I love him and I believe in sticking things out, but I don’t think it’s right for him to be doing this. Since then, he’s been very secretive with his phone and computer and not very good at communicating about anything not to mention this other woman/women. ![]() He said nothing was happening, that she was just an old friend, and I believe him because to my knowledge, he has never gone outside of our relationship. Instead of getting mad, I asked him about it politely and he admitted it. QUESTION: “I’ve recently discovered on accident that my boyfriend has been in touch with at least one other woman online. Mysterious, suspicious behavior from a partner is something most of us have or will deal with at some point, and today we’ll look at an example and how to handle it. We’ve got a good old fashioned relationship question for ya today, folks. I’m your host, certified life coach Greg Audino. ![]() Hello everybody, welcome to Episode 62 of Optimal Living Advice, the podcast where we take your questions on life and give you an answer to them on the show. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |